Let’s talk about something that might make us squirm a bit as moms — but we need to talk about it. If you’ve ever caught your toddler with their hands in their pants and thought, “Wait… what’s going on here?” — you’re not alone.
Toddler self-touching is more common than we like to admit. It doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with your child. They’re exploring, they’re curious, they’re human.
But as parents, especially in our culture where certain topics are still taboo, it’s easy to feel confused, maybe even worried. So let’s clear the air — from one mom to another.
💡 First, What’s Normal?
Toddlers (yes, even as young as 2 or 3) are naturally curious about their bodies. They’re not thinking anything sexual — they’re just learning that “hey, this part of me feels good to touch.”
This kind of self-soothing can happen:
- When they’re bored
- When they’re sleepy
- During potty training
- Or just because they’re curious
In most cases, it’s developmentally appropriate. No need to panic or shame them.
🚩 When to Pay Attention
Now, while it’s mostly harmless, there are times when touching may signal something more serious. Here are a few signs to keep an eye on:
1. Obsession or Compulsion
If they can’t seem to stop, even in public or during play — it could be a sign of emotional stress or anxiety.
2. Sudden Change in Behavior
Are they more withdrawn? Scared of certain people? Aggressive out of nowhere?
3. Mature Language or Acts
If your toddler is using words or gestures they wouldn’t normally know, it could raise a red flag.
4. Physical Signs
If you notice irritation, bruises, or redness in their private areas, it’s time to talk to a doctor immediately.
5. Fear During Diaper Changes or Bath Time
If they suddenly act fearful or resistant — pay attention. Their behavior may be trying to tell you something.
🛑 Please Don’t Shame Them
This is important: Do not scold or punish your toddler for self-touching.
Instead, say something like:
“I know that feels nice, but that’s something we do in private, not in public.”
It’s not about making them feel bad — it’s about teaching healthy boundaries.
🗣 When to Talk to a Professional
If you’ve noticed any of the red flags or just have that gut feeling something isn’t right, talk to your pediatrician or a child psychologist. You don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes, just having a second set of trained eyes can make all the difference.
❤️ Let’s Normalize the Conversation
Moms, this is part of parenting. We don’t get a manual on how to talk about these things — especially in Guyana where sex ed is hush-hush and old-school mindsets still linger.
But protecting our children starts with understanding, not shaming. And when we know better, we do better.
So if you’ve been worried or unsure — you’re not alone. You’re doing your best. And that’s enough.
💌 Want More Real Talk Like This?
Sign up below to get honest, mom-to-mom blogs, tips, and support straight to your inbox. We’re building a space for Guyanese moms to feel heard, seen, and supported.
Enjoyed this post? Click here for more…
